For the last 9-months, every morning when I wake up, even before I get out of bed, I remind myself to feel the breath come in and feel the breath flow out. That one mindful breath reminds me it will be ok. The next reminder I give to myself is a mantra that stays with me throughout the day, "easy does it." Some days I need that reminder more than others but that simple routine continues to keep me grounded in gratitude and hopeful I/we will be ok. So how are you doing? How are you (and your whole being) feeling? Are you taking it easy on yourself?
I heard someone once say, "in the before," referring to everything that happened before the pandemic. Can you even remember back that far?! I can but it seems so much longer than 9-months ago. Even the hard times seem better, "in the before".
Everyone keeps talking about returning to "normal." It certainly won't be like it was "in the before" but hopefully, you have found a silver lining or two in these times as we move ahead. For a girl who doesn't like to be on camera, or in front of groups of people (yes I know that sounds silly coming from a yoga teacher) or hearing her own voice, teaching online has turned out to be one of my silver linings in 2020. Have you had any of those? Tell me, please! I really want to know.
You see, I did resist change and teaching online mostly because of the above but also because after my studios closed I felt lost. That and I guess I was scared people wouldn’t show up. In 2018 I left New York City, a community that I spent seven years cultivating and loving. Needless to say, I have had only glimpses of a new community forming and then everything shut down. “In the before'', even if it was one student who showed up to class, it made it all worth it. It was a connection. No matter the size of the class I tried to connect.
It's hard to connect even with all this technology. When it's not forced and we let the "guard" down, connecting is just more easeful. When I finally let my guard down, in addition to using my mantra "easy does it" it made the fear of failure and the unknown slip away. It wasn't always pretty and mistakes have been made but life isn't always pretty and certainly isn't neat, am I right? What have you learned or built the courage up to face during the last 9-months?
During this holiday season, one that certainly won't ever look like it did "in the before" and hopefully will never be repeated can I offer one suggestion? Easy Does It. Take it easy, on yourself (and your whole being), on each other, and well... on everything. It's easy to forget but can be a simple practice that may help. I do hope it helps. If you have other practices that have been helpful for you, please feel free to share. Tell me! I really want to know.
In this season of giving, I have included a simple Love and Kindness Meditation for you to enjoy (I hope). Yup, you will notice the audio files. I made them, "in the before" when my guard was still up :). Watch out… in 2021 my guard is down and my virtual studio is going live... silver linings. Ha!
Love and Kindness Meditation.
PS. If you are curious about meeting me online check out my 2021 series class schedule. All classes are being held via Zoom. Don't worry if taking a yoga class online is new to you, I walk you through it step by step.
PSS. If you are interested in connecting with me, for private online sessions (another silver lining) feel free to reach out.
You know my grandfather wouldn’t be happy with me using that title of this post (RIP Grandpa!). Really because he/we have very sensitive skin and “soaking up” the sun has become a problem. But I can’t help it, I love summer and being outside in the summer. Who doesn’t? Well, I actually know a bunch of people that would prefer the winter months over the summer months. Sorry, that is not me! I like all the seasons but summertime, is fun time!
My love for summer comes down to my family. Growing up it was the time that we packed up the car and headed to the Jersey Shore. Even though we lived in Massachusetts, where all my siblings considered where we are from, our parents grew up in New York and their family’s and friends were still in New York. Our summer life ran down the turnpike and the parkway to a a sleepy, small town that was populated by many of our extended family. We couldn’t throw a stone without hitting a family member. Even more amazing was our closest family friends in Massachusetts also ended up being from New Jersey so every summer it was an exodus from the mosquitoes to the beaches!
It was and still is a simplified existence. Once the car is parked it, we would hit the road on our feet or our beach bikes. Young or old you can find people on the beach all day long. I will have to admit now, I prefer the beach early in the morning or around sunset, when the beach is quiet and cool. As opposed to back in the day, when we would aim for sunrise to sunset (grandpa would be proud of that too). We had more freedom as kids at the beach too. Maybe that is because we had such a tight knit group and we traveled in packs. Everyone just seemed more at ease at the beach. I am not sure what that was; the breeze, the cool sand or just knowing we were all close by.
Being at the beach brings, almost immediately, a calming effect over on me. Once I drive over the bridge I can feel my mood change, my body relax and my heart fill. Yes, a lot may have to do with my childhood memories of family and friends, my wedding bliss but it’s more than that it. It’s not just “my beach” but every time I hear the sounds of the ocean, the sand between my toes, the sun on my face, the breeze and colors that fill the sky at sunrise and set. It’s all of it. It brings me h(om)e.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself when I am white knuckling it trying to get down there from NYC that feel the breeze if even I am stuck in hot sweaty summer traffic. It is very easy to forget all those amazing feelings of calm when I am anxiously entering the Lincoln Tunnel. Oh brother… don’t get me started on the traffic!
After many years of making the trek (from near and far) I have found the following to be helpful tips to keep feeling my beachlife bliss. Maybe these tips will also help you when planning your summer trips (or really any trip).
Tips for Summer Travel (in peace)
Travel Off Peak Hours
Yes, this might be hard but I have found that if I wait until after high traffic times or leave early, I am much more relaxed through the whole trip. My mantra is, “I get there when I get there,” but creating a timeframe that promotes a calm drive versus a chaotic jockeying has been helpful for me.
Schedule Downtime
Once I have arrived, I always have to remember to take some downtime. Whether that means a nap on the beach, I stroll to the bay or a rock on the porch giving myself more time to relax and recharge has kept that summertime bliss. My favorite is a nap on the beach!
Meet Your Neighbors
Living in NYC, we live in such tight and close quarters but it’s hard to know your neighbors. At the beach not only do I make an extra effort to stop by and visit with my neighbors. It’s such a comfort to know thy neighbors, we watch out for each other. People take in each others garbage, watch the house, feed the animals and plants. It’s a community an even bigger extended family. Even if it’s just a “good morning” to another dog walker, it puts out a welcoming vibe that will last all day. Better believe it, you will see that person on the beach, in the local market or cafe too.
Unplug & Recharge
This has taken me a bit longer but I feel most relaxed when I have put my phone away. I pick up a book instead. I can head to the beach or for a bike ride with confidence that I will be ok and the world will still be there when I come back. Yes, if someone needs to get in touch with me or if I am waiting on my parents I will have my phone but instead of ALWAYS it’s only as needed. When I come home and am settling in for the evening my device(s) are charging, on silent and in another room. We all need a break and so do they!
These tips have helped me plan, arrive and enjoy my time at the beach. Hopefully, they can help you experience and feel the sunshine this summer!
Can it be... is Spring really here just in time for May? As I put winter in my rear view window Spring means it's cleaning time... from outside in or vice versa. If you haven't heard I am focusing my attention on simplifying or should I say keeping it all about the "K.I.S.S."... Keep It Simple Sassy". Well, if it's news to you, check out my April post on how and why I have decided to simplify, clearing out in order to free up space.
Since March, I have been making great strides into simplifying my life. There have been many moments of asking, "Do I really need that?" Yes, many of the moments are directed towards things or objects that may be taking up space or room that is just not necessary. What I have noticed is 1) I have a lot of "stuff" and 2) there is resistance around letting go of some objects. Now, that is not uncommon especially if those objects trigger positive memories of my past. In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali suggests that memories can be considered a vritti (mental modification). Looking deeper we cling to the good memories (painless) and are quick to disregard or run away from bad memories (painful). Oh, boy can that open up a can of worms and discussions around why I hold onto objects and things. Well in efforts to keep simplifying I'll focus for today on letting go. Why is letting go so hard you may ask? Well here's what I have been exploring in my effort of finding freedom from external and internal "stuff." I love Mike Brown's quote about letting go:
The act of 'letting go' is actually very easy - it's effortless. Thinking about, talking about, and contemplating 'letting go' is hard. - Mike Brown
Most of the time I (we) hold on with our minds. As a result of this chronic clinging, the body ends up "holding" tension and stress in the body. Now stress isn't always a bad thing especially when we are in danger or feel threatened (flight or fight). Our beautiful bodies are so well designed that the body knows how and when to respond to stressful situations. Unfortunately, most of us have to work at relaxing or finding a calm state of being. This endless holding cause tension in the body. So what does stress have to do with eliminate the excess in efforts to simplify? I am glad you asked. Those objects I experienced resistance to letting go of really had nothing to do with the object, it had to do with me letting go of the past. Whether the memory is painful or painless is one question, do I really need it is another but an even more important question is does holding on to an object or memory serving me, now. The act of letting it go is so simple but the thought of letting it go may be extremely challenging. What it is can vary from day-to-day or room-to-room but as my quest to simplify continues I have had to go up against the "stickiness" of letting go. So here are the key questions I ask myself when I contemplating letting go (of things, relationships, expectations and obligations):
Do I really need this?
When is the last time I used it?
Can I live without it?
Does it serve me?
Does it bring me peace or stress?
I ask myself so those questions on a daily basis. Some answers come quickly and I can move on...others may take a bit longer but here's what I have let go of as a result:
Toxic relationships (adios)
Bags of clothes (donated of course)
Old: papers, projects, school supplies electronics and broken projects (recycled when appropriate)
That's just the beginning. As I continue my de-clutter celebration I have also given myself time for the most important pose in my practice, savasana. Talk about the art of letting go... Recognizing there is a tendency to hold on to or cling onto something (a memory, thought, idea, desire or situation) will only be uncovered when I (we) can find ourselves in a peaceful, safe and relaxing environment like savasana (corpse pose). For many, savasana can be the most difficult part of a yoga class. Savasana gives a student, no matter how new or seasoned, an opportunity to find stillness, insight and wisdom of being in the moment to notice any tension or clinging in the body and in the mind all in efforts of letting go. I am pretty sure that anyone that is reading this could use some more relaxation in their lives and if so remember what Thich Nhat Hanh says about letting go...
Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything--anger, anxiety, or possessions--we cannot be free. -Thich Nhat Hanh
Try this Body Scan Relaxation Meditation I use to let go physically to create conditions for happiness.
We all deserve to be happy, peaceful and at ease. Don't you agree? For those things, relationships or situations that aren't serving you... KISS it goodbye!
I think I might have said this before... but imagine if we treated every day like it was Valentine's Day. What would that look like? How would that feel? Well, I know how it would feel, great! So why is it just for one day, during the coldest month of the year, are we dedicating to express our love for the ones we care about? I say we spread the love, ALLways!
I think, in efforts to spread the love we have to "let go." Let go of what you may ask, well that is up to you to figure out. What do you need to let go of so you free up room in your heart, your body and your life to experience love and kindness in ALLways of your life? I like that term, ALLways, well I guess it is safe to say a LOVE that term. I believe that when we are guided by our true nature that we can live a more mindful existence... in every aspect of our lives... ALLways. I also believe that our true nature is inherently good and loving. Unfortunately, over time because of trauma, stress and disconnection we lose sight of that. I know in low times in my life it has been difficult for me to feel the love. In high times in my life, I feel love radiating from the inside out... ALLways. I want to live in that state of true nature, with love and bring that intention with me, through me into ALLways of my life. That's my yoga practice.
To do that remember, I am constantly reminding myself to let go. Buddha said it best:
In the end these things matter the most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?
Since letting go is hard and a practice within itself, just like getting on your mat and moving your body, be compassionate with yourself. Sit quietly and notice maybe what you are holding on to both physically and mentally. Allow yourself at least once a day to find stillness in order to check in with yourself to feel, see, experience if you are holding on to something so that you can ask yourself why? In efforts to help you along your way here is a Body Scan meditation that may uncover some of those areas in the body in which you are holding on to. Not in judgment but in efforts to uncover your true nature. It's a nature that basks in the glory of love not just for one day but for yourself, others and ALLways.
With January 6th comes the end of the holiday season. Yeah, you heard me... January 6th. I am not joking its called Epiphany or Three Kings’ Day…thanks catholic school! It's the day marked by the arrival of three kings. Those individuals, which offered gifts to baby Jesus. This isn't a religious post, I swear. I do appreciate the day though, in my own way, because it gives me the space to emotionally, physically and mentally digest the year. I don't find it very helpful, meaningful or productive to try and frame the new year while there is still crumbs of the past one lingering. Let's be honest 2016 was one for the "books". We all wrote a book for 2016. Yes a book (again, check out last year's post for reference).
Though I appreciate a good "year in review" I like it in terms of music, movies even in remembrance (RIP Prince, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds and most importantly my grandpa Royal Alvis and to all those that touched other lives and have left us behind). I am not here to tell you how 2016 was because your book is different than mine. The story of 2016 will and should be different if we are walking along our paths. Even if we have adjacent or share paths with partners, spouse, family members and friends our books are different. For some it might have been the best year ever! For others, it might have been the worst year going. I don't know. I can go on about my year but that's my book, my story. Though I know blogging is about sharing I don't want push my year on your eyes. I share how I manage, navigate, get inspired, stay hopeful and find faith in unlikely places. Here's is to you, your book, your year!
Why the two fingers? Well I asked myself, if I couldn't speak or write/type how could I sum up my 2016 book? My eyes? My body?... Oh my hands! Then all the different combinations of expressions just started jumping out of me. By using two hands, even more specifically two fingers I could communicate/express so much.
Then the emojis popped into my head. Those cute emojis! Love them. Hate them. There are plenty. Now instead of words, what two fingers (ok two hands would count) gesture would summarize 2016? Then ask yourself, what gesture do you want to embody your new book, 2017? Congratulations to getting to 2017. Here's to you 🙌!
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P.S Shameless plug...If you are looking to manifest a bigger picture of 2017 consider a Vision Board. I am leading a workshop on January 29th from 2-5pm in NYC. Learn how manifest, visualize and design a year to live a life you want to create. More information can be found on In Studio.